Warning Signs that YOU Ignore – Part 7
Written by Robert D. Sollars
Obsession with past mass shootings and admiration of those perpetrators
You may think that this would be an easy sign to spot, right? But it’s not. These people, both teenagers, and adults have learned how to hide themselves as well as the wizards & witches in Harry Potter did amongst the Muggles! They speak about it only amongst each other and very few outside their group.
As a parent, teacher, manager, or just an employee and student, you need to be on the lookout for listening for conversations where people are talking amongst about Uvalde TX. Or the Buffalo, NY. Shootings. You don’t have to eavesdrop, but in passing a few words may slip by them and you’ll know they’re thinking about it.
Watching their video game use, group conversations – both online and with friends, as well as the writings they use. Also, notice the type of books they’re reading and so on as well.
Spotting one of these individuals isn’t the easiest thing to do. But as a parent or otherwise, you should be able to see the change in their demeanor, and their clothes if they are.
- Poor Health and Hygiene
These individuals will ignore their health and simply get worse as time marches on, all without seeking necessary medical attention. Some will even deny that they’re in a serious medical issue until they break down completely or many people will ignore their own health if a member of their family is seriously ill for whatever reason. If a spouse has terminal cancer, then the husband/wife may ignore the signs of a heart attack or stroke.
This can also very easily nosedive to poor hygiene. If the individual is up all night tending to a sick family member, they may forget to shower, shave, or put on deodorant. Once a month or on weekends, this isn’t so bad, but if it starts becoming a daily occurrence…
Keep in mind also the eccentric ones in our midst. There will be some who just absolutely refuse to wear deodorant, shave, or bathe. These individuals have issues but are not necessarily ready to pop their cork and harm someone else. Alcoholics, drug abusers, and others simply ignore that they simply stink and don’t really give a flying f*** what others say about it.
- Poor Relationship Skills
The proverbial loner and wallflower. If you notice an individual who seems to have problems with developing and maintaining relationships and it doesn’t matter whether it’s a personal, school, or work relationship, any one of these, or all three, may be cause for concern.
Some people just have problems forming lasting relationships with anyone. It doesn’t matter if it’s at or away from work or school. They just don’t have the skills to have good relationships, no matter what they are. Many times, these people can be dark and brooding and possibly be the stereotypical loner in the organization, they could also just be very shy and not very self-confident about themselves or their surroundings. In that case, then it doesn’t matter who or why someone tries to befriend them, it probably won’t work.
Also, consider that there are aspects of autism and other mental disorders that can cause someone not to be able to have normal relationships. Or possibly, they have been burned in the past by friends. I personally know an individual, who has been stabbed in the back so many times, because she was too trusting, by so-called friends, that it’s very hard for her to even start a friendship much less maintain one.
I also managed a security officer at a large distribution center that was this way; he was very good at his job of logging trucks in/out of the center. However, he was very brusque and extremely rude to anyone who supervised/managed him or tried to tell him what to do. However, he was not a big concern for us.
We left him alone to do his job, which always had a 98% pass rating by their corporate people, which he was rude to as well. In his off hours, he, his wife, and a daughter took care of 15 special needs children in their home. They were placed there by the state of Kansas and were very lovingly cared for – always receiving a rating of 100%. He got by being rude at his post because that is what was needed to deal with the idiotic oafs he came into contact with.
- Safety Concerns
If an individual, like a teenager figuring out who they are, has always been clumsy with safety issues at work or school, then this is probably nothing to worry about. However, if a truck driver suddenly has a couple of stupid accidents after years of perfect driving and the accidents may just be scraping the truck or knocking over a fence post. Or if a factory worker begins running into things with their forklift or stumbling, fumbling, and dropping items that would be the same thing. It may indicate that something is wrong.
They may have other stressful thoughts running thru their minds and they aren’t concentrating on their job properly. Again, if their spouse has terminal cancer or money issues, or any number of factors could be causing them to lose their concentration on being safety conscious at work or even their school work. Some of these can become their own medical issues, of which they may not be aware. Having a stroke, undiagnosed diabetes, or a myriad of other problems could pop up unexpectedly and cause them to be lackadaisical and lose concentration.
- Serious Stress- at work, school, & home
Is this person having issues with work, of any kind? When I say work issues, I’m talking about specific work duties. Are they having issues remembering what to do or how to do it? Are they shuffling or stumbling through their shift, more so than normal? All of these things and others may indicate that something is wrong. Is it worth mentioning to the boss or someone in a responsible charge position?
This is also a big one to watch out for. And in today’s economy, it’s easier to spot than it was 20 years ago. Whether we are becoming ‘simplified’ or we don’t have a good support system, we are showing our stress outwardly more and more.
At one time, if we had stress, anywhere in our lives, we kept it quiet. It stayed in the home where the wife, kids, & dog were abused at every opportunity. Rarely, did it spill over into our work lives.
It wasn’t unusual for someone not to show stress to anyone until they were either over it or too depressed and low you couldn’t help but notice it. Now, it’s unusual not to notice if someone is fine.
Money, health such as the coronavirus, family issues, vehicle problems, foreclosures, and employment worries, all of these things and tons more help us to keep having stress in our lives Some people don’t know how to handle it. And the only way they handle it is to lash out at someone or anyone close to them at home, work, coffee shop, or where ever, like a trapped animal.
This has been a lengthy post to this series and time to end it. I hope you’ve learned something from the previous posts, and next week is the final post with the most interesting signs yet.
Like these blogs? Then please feel free to pass them along, with proper attribution, to friends, colleagues, or anyone who may benefit, with proper attribution. Have them subscribe at my website: Sollars Violence Prevention Training & Consulting
It happens to Anyone…Any Time…Anywhere… For any Reason
I May Be Blind, but My Vision Is Crystal Clear
Copyright 2022 Robert D. Sollars
