Don’t listen to the liars!

Written by Robert D. Sollars

A traitor says one thing but inevitably does the exact opposite. If you promise a friend you’ll keep their secret, but instead, you blab it to everyone, you’re a traitor unless it is a matter of life or death, and sometimes even that aspect can be misconstrued.

The origin of the word says it all: traditorem is the Latin word for “betrayer.” Liar? Yes. Backstabber? Yes. True friend? Heavens no. Traitors betray the trust of those who have faith in them or trust them, sometimes ad nauseum.

Identifying traitors can be difficult if you’re a trusting person and are unable to detect those lies. It’s even worse within an organization that relies on trust and the faithfulness of everyone to do the job assigned to them…and do it right.

While there is no single sign of hatred or disapproval, a person can still connect the dots together and find out whether someone is trying to avoid them or not. The presence of one of those signs doesn’t mean that a person hates you but…

  • Someone who hates you won’t face you while talking. If a person wants to continue talking then they will stand with their shoulders parallel to you.
  • A genuine smile usually affects the muscles of the face surrounding the eyes. If a person smiles with their mouth only, then it might not be genuine.
  • Does this person touch their nose as soon as you arrive? People touch their noses when something negative happens or negative thoughts. It relates to something stinking.
  • A person who keeps taking side steps while talking to someone usually means they want to leave. If a person always wants to leave when they talk to you then, they might not be interested in talking to you.
  • Some people don’t make lots of eye contact because they are shy, but if an ordinary person is avoiding looking at you then it might mean that they are not interested in you.
  • If a person dislikes someone then they will keep a large distance between him and that person compared to the distance they keep when they stand with other people. See personal space in body language.
  • People touch each other when they feel comfortable around each other. If a close friend sits beside you then their leg might be touching yours. If a person doesn’t like you then they wouldn’t want to touch you unconsciously.
  • Yawning can indicate a lack of interest. There are so many reasons that could make a person yawn, but generally, if a person yawned a lot at a first meeting then it may mean that they aren’t interested.

Be cautious; even if all of those signs are present, they might just indicate a lack of interest. It’s very important that you don’t make conclusions about people using these signs alone. Some of the above may be due to a person being stressed or having recently suffered a loss.

You must also remember and consider, that liars can look you straight in the eye, or face, and lie to you as easily as you would tell the truth. Sometimes those lies are painful and hurtful, especially when it comes to relationships. But they can also be innocuous if just meant to deflect the unvarnished truth.

Have I confused you enough yet? Watch for the 2nd part, and probably more importantly directly related to WPV/SV, next week.

Like these blogs? Then please feel free to pass them along to friends, colleagues, or anyone who may benefit. Have them subscribe at my website: Sollars Violence Prevention Training & Consulting

It happens to Anyone…Any Time…Anywhere… For any Reason

I May Be Blind, but My Vision Is Crystal Clear

Permission to share? Of course, with full attribution.

Copyright 2022 Robert D. Sollars



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